11: New Year, Same You Just Rested
In This Episode:
What is holding you back from good sleep? It’s a new year and time to prioritize not just your children’s sleep but your sleep as well Moms and Dads. In this episode Jessica discusses many of the challenges we can face when trying to get a good night sleep. She shares tips on how to get better sleep in 2023 because your sleep and your health is very important. Your children need your energy and your connection to thrive and this episode is going to help you take care of your own sleep properly.
The Big Idea
Let’s commit to being more rested in 2023.
Questions I Answer
Why should I prioritize my sleep?
How can more sleep improve my health and lead to a happier life?
How does sleep deprivation impact all areas of life?
How as an adult can I prioritize sleep for myself?
What happens when I don’t get enough sleep?
How does lack of sleep affect parents?
Actions to Take
Take a deep breath and say that to yourself: “I am enough. This year I am going to make being rested a priority for me and my family.” or “I am gonna make sleep a priority”. (And start reminding yourself of this daily - put it on a sticky note on your mirror or on your fridge if that helps!)
If you're new to Sleep Happy, I encourage you to visit my website to find the free It Starts With Sleep Framework which is the very first baby step to setting new sleep routines in your house.
Help spread the word about our podcast (and help other parents) by leaving a review. Take a snapshot of the review, share it with a friend and send it over to me to let me know that you've left a review and what your feedback is!
Resources + Links
My free It Starts With Sleep Framework to help you set sleep routines in your house
Dr. David Dingus from University of Pennsylvania study on 'Sleep Debts'
National Sleep Foundation suggestions for How Much Sleep [We] Really Need
NutureShock by PO Bronson & Ashley Merryman
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(00:00):
Hello friends and welcome to the Good Morning's podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Bryant. This is episode 11, New Year, Same You Just Rested.
The Good Mornings Podcast is the best parenting podcast for moms and dads. The transcript for this episode is created by Temi, so please excuse any typos, misspellings and grammar mistakes.
(00:16):
Welcome to the Good Morning podcast. I'm your host Jessica Bryant. I'm a pediatric sleep strategist and founder of Sleep Happy Consulting. Many parents today are spinning their wheels, living from sun up to sundown in a cycle of overwhelm, frustration, and some serious exhaustion. I'm here to tell you there is another way. Let's follow that frustration together. Find out what's not working so you can decide to change course confidently and move towards a better tomorrow. A better tomorrow starts with a good morning. Having good mornings is more than sleep. It's about being intentional with how you set your child up for success in the world, how you show your child to care for their mind, their bodies and others so they can reach their full potential. And you, you are the best person for the job. So let's decide to have a good morning.
(01:28):
Happy New Year everyone. I'm wishing you all the health of the new year, the happiness. And of course if you know me, I am wishing you a great year of sleep. So I feel like the messages around New Year's resolutions, they've got it all wrong. Those pressures to we're gonna work out more, we're gonna feel better, we're going to eat less, we're going to lose weight, and we, we put super high expectations on ourself coming out, especially for parents of a month of holidays and celebrations where we've loaded a whole bunch of other pressures onto our brain and onto our time, and then somehow we can just expect to keep up that pace and to really transform so many different things as we come into the new year. So I thought we'd talk about that concept of New Year, Same You just more rested. I think we all love the concept of a fresh start, um, New Year's resolutions that get us excited to try something new or we get that fresh reset.
(02:52):
But what happens is we don't check our expectations. They're too high with everything else we've got on our plate and they end up just tanking us mentally. Three weeks in, they increase our negative self-talk, really making ourselves feel worse when our whole goal with those resolutions was to feel better deep down, we just want to feel that we're enough. And that really does start from the inside. It's not that goal or that resolution that you have on paper. It's working to build that knowing inside you that you are enough. You're right where you're supposed to be. But if we're thinking of health, wellness, nutrition, everything improves with sleep, right? It's a proven fact. So instead of putting the more activities, um, the more memberships, the more programs on our list to fill our day. What if we committed to being more rested in 2023? So the top three New Year's resolutions are to exercise more, eat healthier, and lose weight.
(04:21):
What if you could achieve all of those with doing less simply making sleep a priority? That's what we're gonna talk about today because the research tells us that when you improve your sleep, you increase your energy. So that takes into account improving your mood and readiness for exercise. You have more of a desire for healthier foods that you enjoy, meaning you're not first thing grabbing for that fast snack because you don't have time and you're exhausted and you're looking for that boost. You don't grab for that fifth cup of caffeine, whether it's an energy drink with or it's your coffee or tea. You're less irritable. You are are more focused and your relationships are easier and more enjoyable. More sleep also improves your performance. And I was reading about this study the other day. It actually improves your memory of pleasant experiences. Memories are kept inside the brain in different places, positive memories versus negative memories.
(05:37):
And so where positive memories are stored, they're more affected by sleep deprivation. So in a sense, when you're sleep deprived, you're remembering most of your negative memories, um, your gloomy memories. So I think the research on that is so fascinating. Dr. David Dinges at the University of Pennsylvania did a study and he experimented with shortening adult sleep to six hours a night. After two weeks, the subjects reported that they were okay, they were fine. Yet when Dr. Dinges looked at the data after a battery of tests, it actually showed that those adults were so impaired, they looked like they had been awake for 24 hours straight. And so a lot of these studies are really telling us what's going on inside our brain and inside our body because so much of our society, we have just coped with being sleep deprived for so long. We don't feel the difference.
(06:46):
So there's many causes for our societal loss of sleep, you know, whether it's over scheduling lax bedtimes, cell phones in the bedroom, guilt and more. You know, parents are feeling guilty because they don't have much time after work and school to spend with their children. So they feel a lot of pressure to make a point to spend the time, no matter whether it's quality or it's full of just frustration and everyone melting down. They are struggling processing what's normal and they feel a lot of pressure that they need to spend two hours no matter what. At the end of the day when we should really look at quality and connection and kind of work at releasing that guilt that, you know, it doesn't do anybody any good if you keep your three-year-old up two extra hours because you got home late from work at 7:00 PM just to spend time together.
(07:52):
And then bedtime is a struggle. There's more wake-ups in the middle of the night and everyone's starting the next day with a lower quality morning. So I think it's just so important to, we're so busy just moving through our day. We're not reflecting, we're not letting that guilt bubble up we're we are not thinking about the pattern in our day if that's working for us as an adult. So that's really what we're talking about is if you are not sleeping seven to nine hours each night as the American Sleep Foundation (*correction added National Sleep Foundation) suggests for adults, we need to think about that. We need to reflect on it, we need to talk about it, and we need to see how we can improve that and making that your goal for the year. Especially if you do have very young children or you do have medically needy children that you have to support in the night.
(08:56):
Look a little bit deeper at your sleep. Are you sleeping at least five hours straight? Because that is really important for your brain to do the download, the processing to clear it out and to do the things that the brain needs to do at night. So much of our health and our brain health is done during the night, during the long sleep cycles.
(09:24):
Are you looking for more support to help your child's sleep better? I can help with my personalized sleep support packages. My most popular service is my Playbook Package where we hop on a call so I can learn all about your child and their sleep. After we build your child's unique sleep plan, you'll receive a written copy of what we discussed in a step-by-step format. The Sleep Happy Playbook package keeps you feeling encouraged, confident, and gives you the tools to stay connected so that you can build your child's confidence in their new sleep routines. So the whole family is sleeping well fast. Sometimes you just need a little support to help you reach your goals. Let me help you by taking the guesswork out of sleep. Sleep Happy is here for you to help you build a well-rested and connected home. After the episode, you can visit the show notes for a direct link or you can go to www.sleephappyconsulting.com to find my Work With Me page, I can't wait to hear about your little one. Now, back to the show..
(10:37):
So looking at your sleep, what is holding you back from good sleep? Is it your to-do list? Is it that you crave time, uh, for yourself and it's really not available during the day so you kind of get lost in the endless scroll or catching up on binge watching shows or you are spending all that time just getting chores done in the house and getting ready for the next day?
(11:09):
Or does it have to do with your health issues, some anxiety or unresolved sleep disorders that you need to seek outside professional help for getting the help you need? Starting with your healthcare providers and troubleshooting what is affecting your sleep Or if it's something that you've struggled with in the past and it's come up again, making that investment to seek out that support. Maybe it's like me 12 years ago and you have a snoring partner, so you wake up because your partner is snoring or coughing or making sounds. Is that something that has been going on for a really long time? Is it chronic? And looking into how you can help your partner or if you are really looking at your sleep and, and that snoring and disruption really is contributing to the less than five hours of straight sleep a night, then is there another option for you to sleep in a different room in a different space for several nights to get yourself three good nights under your belt and then kind of reconnect with that person and, and talk to your partner about their sleep and what is holding them back.
(12:33):
Do you have wakeful children? If you're in the newborn stage, if you have young infants, if you have children that need to eat in the night for their health and weight, take that into consideration. What can you do to set your self up for success? Does that mean you have to go to bed a little bit earlier than if your child was sleeping through the night? Does that mean that you need to make time to nap during the day if that's something you work from home? Can you schedule an hour to rest and or sleep? And there is so many studies that say if we are offering a downtime or rest during the day, that it does impact our night's sleep. It does not have to be that you have to fall asleep. It's just if you can even start with scheduling 30 minutes to walk away from your home office and lay down in a quiet place and give your brain and your body a break to just maybe do some deep breathing.
(13:42):
You could do a meditation or a prayer or you could just sit in the quiet. I would definitely say put your phone down <laugh>. But even starting really small with 15 to 30 minutes of resting, if you're in that stage of life where you have a young child that you are caring for in the night and it's just not the time to move past that quite yet, if you do have wakeful children that are waking up and they don't need to wake up, we can definitely talk about that and work together one-on-one to troubleshoot that and get your children sleeping really fast because you would be surprised how quickly they learn and how much they crave good sleep. Are you losing sleep from stress? Is there something that is keeping you up in the middle of the night? Your mind is racing and you cannot, you know, calm yourself or redirect your body to going back to sleep.
(14:45):
Is it hormone related? Are you pregnant? Are you premenopausal? Are you menopausal? Is it a hormone related to your, your lack of sleep in the night? So I think the first thing is not that we make this to-do list to tackle these things, but just the action of reflecting and sitting in a moment to think about your sleep, your needs, and what kind of factors are affecting you. Because it's different for everyone. I'm outside of it and there's so many parents saying, you know, just constant state of sleep deprivation. It's just part of parenting. No, no, it's not. It's not okay. Your sleep and your health is very important. You are enough and you are needed. We need your spirit. Your children need your energy and your connection to thrive and we wanna help you take care of yourself. So I really think, don't worry about that, joining that new gym.
(16:02):
Don't worry about ordering that new package of, of food or supplements or the advertisements for the New Year's resolutions. Think in terms of what can I do inside myself right now? Could I get 15 minutes more of sleep? Could I go to bed 15 minutes earlier? Could I go to the doctor or my health professional and talk about this concern of sleep? Could I talk to my friend or accountability partner that we could catch up over coffee while the kids play on a Friday morning or a Saturday morning and their kids are playing in the backyard and you guys are updating each other on your sleep and how you're feeling. And I don't necessarily think you have to use a smart device, you don't have to go use your Apple Watch or your Fitbit, but if you just focus on how does your mind and your body feel each morning and then reflect on are you getting more than five hours, that's the first step.
(17:13):
And then is your total sleep at night falling within the seven to nine hours that you need as an adult? And truly, I believe that everything stems from mindset. So check your mindset. Do you value being rested? Do your actions match what you value in your head and and that voice inside you? And stop right now. Hit pause on this podcast. Take a deep breath and if you value being rested, say that to yourself. I am enough and this year I am going to make being rested a priority for me and my family, or I am gonna make sleep a priority. And start reminding yourself. Put it on a sticky note on your mirror or on your fridge. Write about it in your journal. Google prayers or meditations or anything that you find comforting or even come back to this podcast <laugh>, if you feel you need a pep talk.
(18:35):
I'm always here for you to give you a pep talk on how you are enough and how to value sleep. But if you're thinking, great, Jessica, this all sounds great in theory as we chat about it right now, but how do I prioritize my sleep if my children aren't sleeping? If my seven month old is waking every hour and needs my help to go back to sleep, if my three-year-old is coming to my room twice a night and telling me what his dreams are or what noise he heard, or if my six month old is waking up every morning at 4:30, how can I prioritize my sleep if my children aren't sleeping? Don't stress. I am here for you. I can help you with this. If you're new to Sleep Happy, I encourage you to visit my website at www.sleephappyconsulting.com/free to find the It Starts With Sleep Framework.
(19:43):
It's the very first baby step to setting new sleep routines in your house, building that communication with your little one so that you know when they're communicating a need from sleep and you know how to respond. That's the first step is reading those cues. And so this, It Starts With Sleep, tells you how to hit pause and how that is your first step to sleep. And then you can reach out to me. We can talk about my support packages and things that you need. If you are in a corporation that has lots of parents and new families and expectant families and sleep is a constant request in your HR department, in your employee wellness area, reach out. I do a lot of trainings for Corporations Lunch and Learns, and can even come in the office to offer personalized one-on-one sleep consultations for your employees. I hope you enjoyed what you heard today. Please consider leaving a review as a brand new podcast. Your review means the world to us and it helps us on our mission of lifting up more moms and dads and helping more families have good mornings. Thanks for being here today and I can't wait to hear about your rested new year. Happy 2023 everyone.
(21:23):
I sure hope you left. Feeling encouraged. I loved hanging out with you today and I am so grateful you were here. If you would like more information about Sleep Happy, be sure to visit our website at SleepHappyConsulting.com and sign up for our weekly emails. If you liked what you heard today, please share this podcast with your friends or your favorite parenting group. I can't wait to get to know you and learn more about how I can lift you up in the journey of parenting. Fulfilled families are our mission. I'm Jessica Bryant and this is The Good Morning's Podcast.
Jessica Bryant helps parents stop fighting sleep with their young children. She provides strategies to help babies sleep through the night, take naps, and stay healthy.
