03: Travel Sleep Pep Talk
In This Episode:
In this episode, Jessica shares her best tips for making time to set your mindset when preparing for travel with young children. You can enjoy your trip if you set your mind to it, make sure you have the tools to allow for sleep, be open for sleep, but create the ability to be more flexible to enjoy yourself and still have balance. Jessica outlines in detail the steps you can take before, during and after travel to ensure that sleep is not greatly affected. Including some things you can bring along to help that hotel room or rental feel more comfortable.
The Big Idea
Setting your expectations is key to enjoying traveling with children.
Questions I Answer
How to set your children up for travel sleep success?
How to determine the best sleeping arrangements when traveling?
Will traveling with my baby ruin their sleep AFTER the trip?
How to make a hotel room kid sleep friendly?
Actions to Take
Brainstorm a plan for sleep while on your trip and when you return (before the trip!)
Grab a notepad or your notes section of your phone, set timer for 15 minutes, write down everything that worries you about traveling
On a new page: write down what your child needs to sleep well (generally)
Talk with your partner about your worries and your child’s sleep needs
Create a plan for the trip
Mark the first 3 days you are back home on your calendar to remind yourself these days are crucial for getting back on your sleep routines fast
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(00:03):
Welcome to the Good Morning podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Bryant. I'm a pediatric sleep strategist and founder of Sleep Happy Consulting. Many parents today are spinning their wheels, living from sun up to sundown in a cycle of overwhelm, frustration, and some serious exhaustion. I'm here to tell you there is another way. Let's follow that frustration together. Find out what's not working so you can decide to change course confidently and move towards a better tomorrow. A better tomorrow starts with a good morning. Having good mornings is more than sleep. It's about being intentional with how you set your child up for success in the world, how you show your child to care for their mind, their bodies, and others so they can reach their full potential. And you, you are the best person for the job. So let's decide to have a good morning.
Jessica Bryant has been called the best speaker on baby sleep, transitioning to parenting, and balancing work and family. She is a woman who loves speaking to corporate audiences, postpartum support groups, and church communities about how to parent the way you dreamed of. She is a sleep strategist and host of the Good Mornings Podcast.
(01:15):
Hello friends, and welcome to the Good Mornings podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Bryant. This is episode three, Travel Sleep Pep Talk. Oh my gosh, you guys, I'm so excited. This is my third, no, it's my fourth episode to record and I'm just getting more and more excited about this podcasting journey. So thank you so much for joining and I'm excited to get to know you. So today I'm continuing on my series of my most frequently asked questions from clients as a sleep strategist. And the title of today's podcast is Travel, Sleep, pep Talk. But really, I really wanted to call it, it's a Trip, not a vaycay <laugh>. But anyway, let's dive in and talk about travel sleep with very young children. I hear a lot of times from families, you know, that they are worried about traveling. They think in terms of, you know, sleep is either really good and they're worried about messing it up, or sleep is really bad right now in their home and they're not sure how it's gonna work with the different challenges that travel brings.
(02:36):
And so it causes a lot of anxiety and worry, and we just let our brains go to all these what if places? Because as parents, <laugh>, I used to describe feeling like when I was pregnant with my first child, I was speeding full speed ahead on a train into a black hole because you just, you don't know until you know. So I thought I would talk today about travel, sleep because it's a pep talk that I give all my clients most of the time when we're wrapping up after working together on sleep. But it's a question that pretty much comes up with 97% of my families. And the first thing I want to do is I wanna help set your expectation. What we want as parents when we go on vacation, especially when we're just thinking about, Oh my gosh, you know, I'm, I'm traveling to the beach, or I'm traveling to the mountains.
(03:37):
Our brain goes to the Pre-kid travel place, I'm gonna relax, I'm gonna have less work, it's going to be rejuvenating. And those all things could be true, but we're not really sure because we haven't traveled with the kids that we have right now. The children and their ages right now and where you are, whether you're traveling with your first child who's six months old, or whether you're traveling with your two, four, and six year old for the fourth time, it's new. So the first thing is I want you to set your expectation and remind yourself that <laugh>, you're just parenting in a different location. <laugh>, it's not a vacation. And I think if we just start out saying to ourself, Oh yeah, it's a trip <laugh>, it just, it changes our expectation and our vision and it, and it keeps us from getting defeated and feeling frustrated because our vision is not lining up with real life.
(04:45):
So that's my first, my first tip is setting your mindset about this trip. And secondly, you can enjoy this trip. Set your mind to it. So <laugh>, let's dive into how to prep for travel. Sleep. Number one, two tips before you leave home. Traveling with a well rested baby or toddler or preschooler is the best way to travel. So prioritizing sleep the week before, keeping that in mind for yourself as well. And number two, plan those first two to three days that you're back home. Look at your calendar before you leave home. If there's nothing on the calendar, great. If there's things on the calendar, are those important? How can you simplify? Because especially if it's your first trip, and especially if you've got multiple young children, if you have the head space when you get home to focus on getting back on track from anything that happened on the trip to resetting home boundaries for sleep, that's how you're gonna do it.
(05:59):
If you just have that space, that grace for when I get home, I have two to three days where I'm gonna plan simple meals or I'm gonna ask for help or I'm gonna get a babysitter or family member, or I am going to make sure that I end my day early 15 minutes earlier from work. If you set your mindset for those first three days, you get back is you're giving you first and your children the grace to transition back into home routines for sleep. I can't tell you how impactful that is. Okay, now that we have covered two things to consider. First before you travel, the next piece is your child's individual sleep needs. How do they sleep best? Do they sleep best in a dark room? Do they share a room? How old are they? Are they pulling to stand and they're going to be sharing a room with you?
(06:58):
And they normally sleep in their own crib, in their own room? Okay, like what are, what is the hotel or what is the Airbnb like? Can the child sleep in a closet that's ventilated in a pack and play? Is it a small space and they're gonna be very close to you? Is there any way to build a boundary because they are older, My toddlers and older babies that are standing and they can see you, How do they sleep well? Do you need to take a boundary or do you need to fit that pack and play maybe around a low wall? So they're just a little bit out of sight, There's a little separation, but you're still sharing a space. So we talk about options like a snooze shade, a slumber pod, taking a dark sheet and some command strips and some clothes pins. If you can hang up kind of a boundary, this may be too complicated, but for your particular trip, but I'm just throwing out a bunch of ideas so that you can think about what works for just your family.
(08:07):
Other things are taking trash bags and painters tape in case, um, there are no curtains on the Airbnb. I hear that a lot. My families arrive, they're all set. They've got their plan except for, oh my goodness, it's so bright, you know, it's much brighter than our house. Those kind of things. So if you can throw in some painter's tape and some trash bags that can often help and then their schedule, I want you to enjoy your trip. Many times families are visiting older relatives, they're having family reunions, they're traveling together with other families, or they are traveling to take care of people. I mean, there's so many different reasons we're traveling and if we can find a baseline for sleep that we can choose either naps or bedtime to do our best to keep on track, it's going to make the trip more enjoyable for everyone.
(09:08):
So for example, I had a client recently that was traveling to Europe and she made a priority for early bedtimes and she decided that they were going to nap on the go as they were sightseeing, but she would take supplies with her to try to make those naps as long as possible. They ended up being 30 or 40 or on the short, short side. But mom and dad had learned that if we have a short naps, we need to have short awake times. And then if we're compensating for being on the go all day, then we are gonna get back to our hotel, our Airbnb, our condo, our family's home at a time where we can help the children wind down and we have the capacity to do an early bedtime. And she told me after the fact that this made all the difference in their trip is that they felt like they had some freedom.
(10:09):
They had the tools to allow for sleep and be open for sleep, but they also had the ability to be more flexible and to be tourists and to be out and about in that balance. And that really helped them enjoy their trip. Another thing that families have told me has really impacted their trip is they have that last day of vacation, Oops, I used that word, <laugh> the last day of their trip. They have prioritized rest for the children. So in terms of whatever they were planning in terms of sightseeing or activities, they trimmed it back to be back and allow for the right timing for naps or to follow their children's cues and maybe even sleep a little bit extra. Whereas the first four days they were taking a lot of 30 minute naps, so three or four a day, uh, for these babies.
(11:10):
And then they were, you know, doing an early bedtime like closer to six and the babies were sleeping closer to 13 hours each night, which made it nice. But so the last day they offered better naps and a good night and the babies traveled perfectly well. I shouldn't use the word perfect, right? Cause nothing's perfect, but the babies were really easy to travel with and it made the parents confident and more comfortable getting back home and getting back into their rhythms. And so they were really proud of themselves for making that plan. So the next time you're planning a trip, my challenge to you is to set a timer for 15 minutes and answer these questions. And remember, the goal of this exercise is how to set my children up for travel success so that we can all find enjoyment and joy from our trip and have good mornings <laugh> while we're on a trip.
(12:13):
So number one, consider how your child sleeps best. What is their schedule, their perfect world schedule look like? If your child could have it all their way, well maybe that's not the most example, but if you as a parent could have your child have it all their way, what is their best nap schedule and bedtime? What does the bedtime routine look like? How much sleep does your child need to be their best selves? And now I realize the world does not operate to where every day is exactly perfect for a six month old or or a 47 year old <laugh>. But we're just talking about the perfect world scenario because we're gonna use the details to help us. So how does your child's sleep best? And how much sleep do they need to be their best? What is their perfect world? Scenario number two, what do you think?
(13:12):
Do you think they, you need to keep naps on schedule or bed times. Look at what your trip plans are. Look at what the activities that are planned or what you want to accomplish. Are those happening in the late evening or those happening during the day? Which one are you gonna pick? Naps are bedtime. Next, consider sleeping arrangements. Is everyone sharing a room? Does everyone have their own space? What is the makeup of: Is there a low wall? Is there an adjoining living space? Is there a ginormous closet or bathroom? What other, how is your trip spot sleeping arrangements set up? And then lastly, we kind of already mentioned this is how do the activities that you're planning affect, you know, the sleeping and adjustments there? So setting that timer for 10 to 15 minutes and just getting that out of your head is going to help you think it through and have a plan.
(14:19):
And that's the point where I want to build your confidence, um, so that you can release that anxiety and that worry and feel like you have some great discussion points when you're planning a trip. How to keep sleep on point for everyone as much as possible so that there is so much joy and enjoyment while you're together with your family making memories. And the last tip, this is especially important for my older kiddos, and if you know me and you know, sleep happy, you know that I wrap a lot of things for my older children around sleep jobs. And so one of the things I really teach young children is that travel, sleep is different than home sleep. So at home, mom, dad, parents are in charge of the boundaries and the rhythms and you have an easier time being very consistent. Travel, sleep. Sometimes things happen that the sleep looks different and we leave that in the hotel, we leave that at the beach or in the mountains, that's where we slept that way and it's just a fact.
(15:36):
But for children, helping set that expectation, especially for older children, Hey you guys, well, we're gonna be home tomorrow night. What does our bedtime routine look like at home? Oh yes. Like asking those questions and reminding them that those are the patterns we have at home and that we will be getting right back to them. And that's why I mentioned that tip of giving yourself two to three days to really watch your child's mood, their sleepy cues, get them down for bed at a normal time or early to compensate for time changes or travel delays or just they're overtired and they are, they had a great time and they need a little catch up. So maybe that's a 6:45 bedtime instead of a 7:30, but a couple days later they're back on track. So knowing that differentiation between travel, sleep, and home, sleep builds confidence in parents too.
(16:34):
Because what they do when they get back home is they worry that they have to keep the travel pattern going where the child is just testing because the child is wondering, what is the pattern at home? I did this when I was on the trip, can I do it at home? So if the child is testing and asking that question with their, their actions, their cries, their communication, they're looking for you to give that answer of no, we're back home. And this is how you John, sleep healthy it. You sleep healthy by going to sleep in your bed on your own, just like you did last Thursday before we went on our three day weekend trip. And that answers the child's question, that answers the test. They can move that on and think, Oh, so I get to sleep in bed with dad when I'm at a hotel and we go from there.
(17:28):
And sometimes the travel sleep looks different every single time, but if our home sleep looks the same, that is so comforting to children. They see that pattern, they seek out that comfort. They find so much safety in seeing that the same patterns repeat each night, that they're in charge of their bodies and that they get the rest they need to tackle the day the next day. If there's only one thing that you take from today's podcast, I hope you take that, making a plan, that giving yourself two to three days when you get back home from your trip to get back on track, giving yourself and your children those days to get right back into the rhythms that you had before the trip so that your child knows what the home boundaries are for sleep and is back to sleeping. Well, if you enjoyed what you heard today, please leave a review as a brand new podcast. Your review means the world to us and we're also learning about you in that review. So we wanna hear from you and know if you like what we're talking about, what you wanna hear next, and that you're sharing it with your friends. So we are on a mission of lifting up moms and dads and helping more families have good mornings.
(19:02):
I sure hope you left feeling encouraged. I loved hanging out with you today and I am so grateful you were here. If you would like more information about Sleep Happy, be sure to visit our website at SleepHappyConsulting.com and sign up for our weekly emails. If you liked what you heard today, please share this podcast with your friends or your favorite parenting group. I can't wait to get to know you and learn more about how I can lift you up in the journey of parenting. Fulfilled families are our mission. I'm Jessica Bryant and this is The Good Mornings podcast.
Jessica Bryant helps parents stop fighting sleep with their young children. She provides strategies to help babies sleep through the night, take naps, and stay healthy.
